Fight, Fight, Fight

Before they cut the cord,
They shake their heads and say
That having a ‘child like that’ won’t be easy
And probably won’t live very long anyway
(Well one must hope).
Because, heaven forbid
This child is a drain on our resources,
A
nd if it survives it faces a lifetime of pain
And completing meaningless little courses,
The kind that would never get you a job
Beyond stacking shelves in Aldi,
He may never talk and never walk
Or go to school, or get married.
But those little voice inside your parents shouts with all their might,
‘You don’t know what you’re on about. We will fight, fight, fight.’

*

You dodge the bullet of special education
Thanks to your parents’ begging and tears,
You work and work to prove yourself –
Much harder than your peers.

You’re told to ignore the insults:
Spastic, rehab, handicap,
They don’t know what they’re saying
And it would be rude to fight back.
‘Oh aren’t you an inspiration?’
They say when you achieve
Enough points in your Leaving Cert
To grant you the reprieve
From languishing in a day care centre
And instead you are lucky enough
To study in University just like you always dreamed.

Suddenly you’re equal. It’s too good to be true
And people are sitting up and listening to you.
After all these years they realise
You have something of worth to say,
You’re finally taken seriously!
Nothing can get in your way!
Then BAM! You are spat back out
And put back in your place
When you leave third level education
And fall right on your face.
What makes you feel so special
And worthy of a job
When you walk like an old drunk
And dribble like a slob?
College has given you notions
That simply will not do!
But don’t worry – there’s lots of Jobbridge courses
For people just like you.
But the niggling voice inside is saying ‘This simply isn’t right.
I want so much better. I will fight, fight, fight.’

****

And so I don the armour
And pick up the heavy sword
To follow in the footsteps
Of activists gone before.

Ignoring the voices of normies
Telling me that I’m an ingrate
Don’t I know I would be dead but
For the mercy of this state?
But I don’t feel their compassion,
Just a weight upon my heart –
I just want to fix the world
But I don’t know where to start.
A world where I need not give notice
To travel on a train
A world where I don’t have to beg for my rights
Time and time again.
And those who once paved the way for us
Are dying, one by one –
Dying fighting a battle
That they have never won.
The workload is increasing
And people start to look to me
For little nuggets of wisdom.
‘What shall we do? Will we ever see
This so-called progress that’s meant to be
Happening in Ireland right now?’
I can’t answer, I don’t know how.

And I plaster on a smile
And blog about something deep,
Knowing that they don’t know
I sometimes cry before I sleep.
You can’t show ‘them’ your weakness –
They’ll feast on that like cake –
So you simply be persistent until you
Wonder how much more you can take.

You hope your messages are seeping through,
Although you never are quite sure,
When people say they understand,
Then refuse to ramp a door.
You start to become repetitive,
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
And suddenly you’re that annoying crip
That people cross the street
To avoid.

And you smile inside
Because in your heart you hope
That it’s getting harder to hide
From the grim reality facing people in Ireland today.

*

Sometimes it feels that we’re getting nowhere
And no-one hears our plight,
But we owe it to our children
To stick up for what is right.
And they might have to do the same
Which should be to this country’s shame,
But in every single disabled person’s name
We have no choice
But to suck it up
(because Ireland’s fucked it up)
And continue
To fight, fight, fight.

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